Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Gift Not Taken for Granted

Mother's day is a special holiday to me. I love it. But it wasn't always that way. Mother's day used to be a horrible holiday for me. I would spend it in tears, wondering, wishing and praying for the day I could be a mother. But for sometime, it wasn't meant to be.

Mother's day is a time I remember that not everyone gets to be a mom. I count my blessings everyday that we were able to have our precious William even after almost 2 years of trying and a year of fertility treatments.
These are the lovely drugs that I so hated then, but appreciate now. Months and months of clomid, an oral pill that is known to provide a lovely horrible 'clomid headache' side effect. Then I moved on to have minor surgery to remove endometriosis. Then more tests, needle sticks, countless hours missed at work., painful side effects, both physicial and emotional. The well-meaning words of friends and family...
"Just relax, it will happen for you."
"Take a vacation, then you will get pregnant."
"My friend adopted then immediately got pregnant, you should try that too."
"I just know you will be a mom one day."

As kind as they thought they were being, these words only stung more and just annoyed me. I mean, how could they promise me I would be a mom- they couldn't possibly know my fate. And a vacation? Please. All I would think about it wanting to get pregnant. Not stress? Are you kidding- when all you want is a baby, it is impossible to NOT think about it. Now I can laugh at some of these well-meaning words. And I advise you, if you know someone struggling with infertility, don't say these things. The best thing you can do is listen, hug them and tell them you are hoping, praying and wishing for it to work out. Keep it simple.

Then came the IUI's- intrauterine insemination, or better known as artificial insemination. Four cycles (four months) of that, two with oral drugs, two with shots. Then came the next step, the LAST resort for us to have a biological child of our fertilization. Almost a two month process, it involves minor surgeries, tons of drugs, shots and of course. the money. The finanical, physical and emotional stress simply can't be put into words for anyone that hasn't personally gone through it.

But it worked. All the pain, misery, worry, stress and bruising were worth it. Our first cycle of IVF worked. We were one of the lucky ones, it worked the first time. There are those that go through this painful process two, three, seven times always getting the dreaded negative pregnancy test. My heart aches for them, because I wasn't sure I would ever see that positive. I count my blessings everyday that I did and I pray for those that haven't.

For those of you that haven't given infertility a second thought, do. Take a second to think of friends, family or strangers that have a hole in their heart because they can't have children of their own. And take a second to be thankful for yours. Even during those awful temper tantraums in the middle of the grocery store, when you are ready to pull your hair out, be thankful. Someone else out there would give the world to be in your shoes.

Finally, I had a belly to show off and enjoy, even with all the morning sickness, it was so worth it!The day I had waited for, dreamed of, for so long. Little William Reed Peters, 8.6, 21 inches. My gift, NOT taken for granted.
And one of those moments I cherish- just he and I, cuddled together, thankful to have each other.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms, moms-t0-be, want-to-be-moms, and those that are like mothers to us!


Allison@Slice of Heaven said...

I am glad it finally worked out for you. I know you are a wonderful mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Shana said...

I am so glad you received your bundle of joy. I know what you went through (really). It is tough and stressful and a blessing when you finally see your child's face. Following you from the Mom Bloggers Club. Would love it if you would visit and LIKE my page:

Kenda said...

Following from MBC :) Hope you'll come by and say hello - feel free to join the GFC weekly follow hop while you're there!